people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
