Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
