he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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