How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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