Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
