can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
