i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
