can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize