Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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