we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
