My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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