puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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