So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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