I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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