Sry I called you an 8
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
