return my video game
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
