we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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