My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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