it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
