like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
