I think I am morally bankrupt
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
