I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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