What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
