I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
