R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
