Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
