Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
