R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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