There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
