Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
These tits shall not be calmed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
