It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
