I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
