how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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