It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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