if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
