Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
