Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
