She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
