so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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