You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
