Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
