I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
