My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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