you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
