I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
