I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
