i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
