it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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