dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
