gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
