I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
