apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
