Ambien. No doubt about it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
