'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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