She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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