my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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