What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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