They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
