I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
