My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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