i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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