So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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