shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
