His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
